Quick link to Winter 2003/4 report: [1]
[2] [3]
[4] [5]
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[8] [chamois
voice]
28 Feb 2004
WEEKS 11 & 12
SNOW AND CHALET REPORT
Les Arcs
It's been 2 weeks of school holidays,
so the pace of riding has dropped off a bit, and we've
been finding alternative entertainment (Gareth's many
stages of facial hair?) to avoid too many lift queues.
Snow-wise, the conditions are still good, so we've been
doing loads of hiking to avoid the crowds. In spite
of some high winds, last week brought a foot of new
powder, and it's been really cold the last couple of
days (-30 at 2000m!) so it's still in great condition.
More snow on the way this weekend.
A trip to sunny Annecy last week was a
welcome change of scene. Great to wander round the old
town, the parks, and shops. Our gentle pedalo cruise
on the lake brought out the competitive streak in Ben
and Gaz, who clearly had to do one better - in the fastest
speed boat in the world. The mediaval pub set the drinking
pace, and we very very nearly stayed over and partied
the night away. Sensible heads took over ... but we'll
be back!
Bridy's birthday party in the Trois Stations
was a night to remember - high on the scale of randomness.
Didn't even know there was a pub in Peisey ... let alone
one that stays open til 4am. Dangerous place. Continuing
the random theme, the hard core Planet Subzero team
have been on a X country skiing day down the Nancroix
valley. Many head bands, laughing, and a lot of tumbles
later, we all made it round the blue run in one piece.
Don't think the 'serious' x-country skiers quite knew
what to make of us, as Gareth's trousers tucked into
socks and Phil's classy headwear brought heckles of
... 'aaaah, les touristes'
Graham's also been celebrating his 19th,
with Gina cooking for everyone, and some filthy shots
in the Blanc. Oxygen bar's seasonaires party with DJ
Glitch (Pete) was another big night. Can't wait til
next week when the kids all go home, plus looking forward
to our road trip to Chamonix. Bring on the snow.
The Planet Subzero Adventures in
Chamonix
The group are just lazing around upstairs
when suddenly the door bursts open and Ben appears,
"OK people, we have a situation." He looks
concerned but focused. "Ollie has had one Crystal
transfer too many - he has gone postal, knocked out
the bus driver and delivered his last set of passengers;
right through the reception of the hotel. It's a real
mess. The gendarmes have got him surrounded - he needs
our help."
The group are surprised by the news but remain relaxed.
This is what they've been trained for.
Ben looks round the team. "Katie and Ned, climbers,
you equipped and ready?"
"Check."
"Luke and Dan, boarders, you know what to do?"
"Check."
"OK. Sammy and Steve, you're driving. Take a car
each. Make it fast and clean ya'hear?
"Neal. I need a diversion. I want you to get out
there and attract attention - BIG PIMPING, understand?"
"Style."
"OK people let's move it out."
The team snaps into action like a well-oiled machine.
Soon they have located the stand-off and have assumed
their positions around the periphery. Ollie is looking
calm now, but Nikki who is also on the bus looks like
she is about to throw up. The gendarmes have their rifles
trained on the couple and the officer in charge is issuing
commands through a megaphone. He looks impatient and
the team has the feeling that if they don't act soon
he will resolve the situation with force.
Neal is the first to move. Decked out in his new denim
pimp suit, he struts out into the arena behind the gendarmes.
Placing his stereo on the ground he hits play and the
show begins. The police turn to locate the boom of the
hip hop beats.
"Yo gendarmeries! Whatchoo playin' at niggers?"
"This is a police crime scene. Cease and desist
or we will shoot."
"You will WHAT?! Bitch - ass niggers!"
The police open fire but the volley of bullets is off
- target.
"That the best you can do? Yo mamas could do better
'an that - if I was to get off them first." He
then begins to gyrate and jig around on the spot. The
music blasts,
"Shake yo ass! Watch yourself!"
While all this is going on Katie and Ned have silently
approached the bus from the flanks. After a quick triangulation
they stealthily climb the left and right side of the
vehicle and attach a rope just below each window. Cat-like,
they drop to the ground and connect the rope to the
back of the cars waiting at the sides. The drivers roll
forward pulling the ropes taut.
Suddenly, moving at pace from opposite directions,
Luke and Dan drop from their raised positions onto the
car roofs, rail slide up the ropes and pull a 180 smashing
the windows of the bus. Pausing for a hand grab they
slide back down the ropes and make their exit.
Quickly grabbing their opportunity, Nikki and Ollie
slide down their respective ropes and into the getaway
cars. Tyres screeching and smoke billowing, the cars
take off in either direction.
Steve and Ollie have barely made it round the corner
when they collide with the oil truck that has finally
made its bloody delivery. The truck topples onto its
side and carries them 100m back up the road. The car
is totally crushed at the front, trapping them both
inside. A worrying pool of oil starts to issue from
the tanker just as the car engine catches fire. Seconds
away from becoming a human flambée, Steve thinks
to dislocate his gammy knee, freeing himself enough
to get out. He makes it round to Ollie's door and they
both escape just as the oil catches, erupting into a
50m fireball.
"Close one, huh?"
As soon as he says this, a police car dives through
the wall of fire and comes to a halt in front of them.
"I think you might have spoken too soon."
Jake steps out of the car and smiles, "Just something
I found lying around. Care for a lift?"
The three head for the tunnel and the safety of Italy.
Meanwhile Sammy and Nikki have encountered one final
obstacle at the Swiss border. A greasy guard approaches
and motions for them to wind down the window. Smoothing
back his hair and adjusting his crotch, he smarms, "Hello
there blondie. I hope you realise there is a price for
crossing?" A smile slithers across his face. Sammy
One Punch smiles back and beckoning him closer, dispatches
him with one punch. The Thelma and Louise - style duo
then roar off into the land of cuckoo clocks and holey
cheese.
Another successful mission for CMX SubZero.
Tignes
... and over in Tignes, the guys have been hitting
the board park hard. Congratulations to Jon for adding
back flips to his tricks list. Good effort!
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