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Quick link to Winter 2004/5 report: [1]
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18 Jan 2005
SNOW AND CHALET REPORTS
Les Arcs
19.01.2005
Well, it finally frikkin snowed!!!! Everyone is bazzing
about with big stupid grins on their faces, dragging
their new gear out the chalets, and basically buzzin'
their tits off. It FINALLY feels like the beginning
of the season, insted of some time in april, close to
the end of the world.
There have been a couple more crazy nights out at the
Apocalypse over in 1800, a winning quiz team up in the
Flying Squirrel (where Steph works a couple of nights
a week) and a fair more few kids struck down with other
strains of the bug of doom. Bruised tails, strained
knees, pneumonia, knackered thumbs, scraps with trees,
and Esky falling off a lift (no, I mean REALLY falling
off a lift) all seem to pale in comparison to the fact
that we got a full-on dump of the white stuff to play
in. Folk have actually been stopping in to save themselves
for getting up at the crack of the sparrow's fart, and
gettin their enthused butts up the mountain on the first
lift, insted of welding themselves to the playstation
with only Jackie Chan for company 'cause they've lost
the will to live. It feels damn good. The only thing
missing from our season now is Susie 'Casino' Osbourne,
who had to go home early last week 'cause she's an in-demand
jet-settin journalist. Consider yourself missed, Mrs!
08.01.2005
And on the 7th day there was party-time...
The season seemed to take a while to kick off this time
around, mostly 'cause everyone was struck down with
the bug of death as soon as they set foot in good old
Vallandry. A severe lack of anything remotley snow-like
meant folk were spending way too much time getting to
know each other and incubating their germs indoors,
insted of risking their shiny new gear on the slopes.
We've all kinda got used to the boulders on the pistes
now, and you find yourself not really being arsed about
hitting rocks that arn't big enough to take your leg
off any more. The snow forcast for next week has got
everyone pretty excited though, no kidding. If it's
more than a couple of centimeters, these kids won't
know what to do with themselves...
The crew staying up at the Blanc have been proper up
for it, apres-ski wise, but I guess the bar is sort
of their front room, so they aint got half as far to
stumble when they've slightly overdone it. Us lot from
the chalet in the woods have (almost) grown to love
those crazy winding steps down to our cosy little chalet,
and when the snow ever gets here, we'll be able to get
some EXTREME tree-dodgin' practice in, right to the
door. A bit of a walk dosen't seem to have stopped the
rest of us treating the Mont Blanc bar as our frount
room aswell ... It's a good place to be. I'm also really
stoked that few folk seem to have got in on the Desperado-drinking
this season. It's kinda comforting to know other people
are gonna end up just as messy at the end of an evening,
trying to teach Ratty's lawnmower dance to some half-conscious
Frenchman.
A few of the crew have pulled already, some with no
effort at all. Some have put in a whole load of effort
and not really got that far. Although Ben did actually
manage to snog a 16yr old on holiday with her parents
in his first week, but since then, there's been a bit
of a drought. Nemmind eh. School holidays'll be here
soon I guess (!)
We all had a skill night over at the Arpette restaurant,
and I don't think anyone actually got set on fire this
time around in the tretcherous torch-lit descent back
from 1800. Always a bonus. I'm a firm believer in eating
off a table one minute, then using it to dance on the
next. Great little space saver. We even got to wedgie
some over-enthusiastic Dutch strippers, who were grinding
away for a good 15 minutes on some table-top. This lot
were going at it like they really believed all the ladies
wanted an eyefull of their thermals. Definately....
Think the only casualty was Declan, who ended up boarding
right off the edge of the piste. He was rescued by a
friendly pisteur who dragged him out of the trees, put
him in a van + drove him some of the way home. (I dunno
where he thought he was goin' wi no bell on his bicycle...)
He was left to his own devices when he could stand up
by himself, and made it all the way back. Pretty impressive
if you ask me. Speaking of which, the Irish boys have
been uncannily quiet so far, which I can't help finding
a bit un-nerving. It's kind of a 'calm before the storm'
feeling. A couple of them have been out here in the
last couple of seasons, and they certainly arn't all
that placcid as a rule. Actually, the word 'carnage'
springs to mind. If they're anything like as crazy-legged
on the slopes as they are on the dancefloor, I can see
some spectacular boarding going on aswell. Well, that
and a whole ruck of dance-offs between them and Fun-Time
Frankie, whose sweet feet are fast becoming a local
legend.
Chamonix
New Year came and went in the Chamonix
house with a massive tartiflette pig out followed by
a stroll through Cham centre, which was doing its best
civil war impression with point-blank champagne corks,
and horizontal fireworks. The rest is frankly a bit
of a blur but needless to say some housemates were not
seen again until well into the New Year.
This week has not been much kinder on Planet Subzero
livers, and, for one night only, almost the entire dysfunctional
Chamonix/Argentiere came together – at the Natives
Show Love Tour. Toffee vodka was drunk, prizes were
won, booty was shaken, but the night ended, predictably,
in carnage with an apparently heterosexual group of
Chamonix housemates stumbling unwittingly (or so they
say) on gay night at the Arbate. Our oldest and least
venerable member Jim actually pulled too (but only because
of a borrowed beanie, which he has mysteriously refused
to take off ever since)!
Storm terror hits Europe but here we have what amounts
to a drought. Nevertheless we have been braving rocks
and exposed vegetation nearly everyday (or some of us
have at least). Ed, Si and their ninja sidekick Big
Jim have been proving particularly keen – that
is until Ed trashed his shoulder this week. Get well
soon Ed and don’t forget to read the smallprint
on your painkillers! We have yet to confirm how this
has affected his love affair with The Office and its
bar staff – it would be such a shame if he missed
Coyote Ugly night!
This coming weekend is one of change up in Argentiere
– sadly, we lose the Jersey Four + DJ Jesper Fleetwood.
They will be gone but definitely not forgotten. We have
two new incomers already – Natasha (scuba diver,
sailor and all round action woman who looks set to out-extreme
the lot of us with her plans for a solo parapente flight)
and Caroline (who arrived so late after braving gale
force winds that some Argentiere housemates were already
in bed – quite an achievement!).
Meribel
Week three kicked off with Christmas Day
- which was a pretty low key affair here in Meribel.
Russ and Phil were both back in England, leaving just
Chris, Kirsty and James in the apartment for the festive
period ... and poor old Kirsty and James both had to
work on Christmas Day! However, even
though there was not a christmas tree, tinselly decoration
or mince pie in sight, we did manage to round up a cd
of cheesy christmas tunes and a couple of bottles of
very cheap bubbly for a mini Christmas celebration.
On the 28th we had a new arrival - Peter. After some
initial chit chat we discovered that Peter lives pratically
next door to me back in England and was taught to swim
by my Gran... what a small world it is!!! And then,
in the nick of time for New Year, Russ and Phil both
also returned to Meribel.
Russ arrived back with most of Asda in the boot of his
car - including around 100 tins of baked beans (Heinz
of course!) and probably enough rice and pasta to keep
a small nation fed for a year. He also managed to stock
the apartment with an impressive dvd collection and
installed a small
internet cafe - hurrah for Russ! Bad weather days are
now sorted.
As for new Year itself I'm afraid I've got absolutely
no idea what happened - presumably there was a large
amount of alcohol consumed and the usual debauched behaviour??
Anyone with any clues please fill me in!!!
The week following New Year marked the count down to
Chris and Peter's departure from Meribel to join the
Vallandry crew. Peter managed to fill most of this week
recovering from an impressive stack which left him unconscious
and with a suspected broken leg! After a two hour wait
in the med centre he was sent on his way with a load
of pills and ointments and a cool x-ray, but luckily
no broken bones. Everyone was very chuffed with the
x-ray for decorative reasons - it's since been proudly
on display in the apartment window!
Unfortunately Phil then had to leave yet again for
another trip back to England, but the rest of us marked
the last days of Chris and Peter's stay in Meribel with
a celebratory dinner, night out and a big group ski.
Well, the dinner and drinking bit was quite successful
- particularly as the
Scratch Perverts were at Dicks that night - the group
ski thing went a little less welll! Kirsty and James
missed out as they'd been working all night and Russ
had to retire to bed after only two runs - maybe a little
bit too successful at boozing Russ! Chris and Peter
and I still had a good day
out though - including a jaunt out of the valley for
the first time for a well deserved lamb korma pie (yes
- two very fine english traditions, pies and curries,
rolled into one!)
And so we waved a sad good bye to Chris and Peter (and
his x-ray) as they drove out of meribel. It should be
noted that Kirsty made a valiant effort to get us a
new x-ray for the window by doing something rather dodgy
to her thumb. Thanks for trying Kirsty but it's really
not necessary - we'd prefer to keep you in one piece!!!
Particularly now the boarding's going so well -
but I guess you must be getting bored now you have to
wait around for the boys to catch up!
This week saw the arrival of the final Subzero guys.
Steve and Mat, having recently survived the tsunami
while on a beach in Thailand (but that's a story for
them to tell), proved what hardened travellers they
are by arriving at some ridiculously early hour in the
morning which doesn't
usually exist here - unless you're still up from the
night before! There was then a short wait for the final
arrival, Rob Williams. We whiled away the wait with
some speculation about his travel by private helicopter
and delays due to hoards of screaming fans etc etc -
but don't worry Rob, we've
got it all out of systems now - I'm sure it must get
very boring!
Steve and Mat were obviously quite concerned about
missing home so they brought along 22 of their mates
for the first week - which has included much riding
switch and the pimps and hos night at Dicks (come on
James - don't try and pretend it's a costume when you
always dress like that!)
So here we are with the final Planet Subzero Meribel
household: five boarders and two skiers, six guys and
one gal, average age of about 27, average mental age
more questionable! Oh - and me too of course! It's looking
like it's going to be a great season ... if we ever
get some snow that is!
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